I have a friend who is just about to finish the AT; only to go home to divorce papers… she was “buddying up” with her male hiking partner and her husband found out some how. What a shame, now she will associate the end of a terrific journey with the end of her marriage as well :>(
ga-me boy
This is exactly why married people should think long and hard about going on a through-hike without their spouse. It doesn’t matter if you’re male or female, or how sincere your intent to remain faithful is at the start. The reality is that people have biologically driven needs that are not easily squelched by an act of will. The Puritans found that out long ago!
I am sorry to see another marriage destroyed by long distance hiking, but I am not surprised. This woman was not necessarily a whore, but failed to soberly consider the consequences of a months-long separation from her spouse. Too bad.
Bedrock Bob
right on, bob. I think the guy has a fiance, too. My friend’s husband is furious, and if he acts out and follows up at all and tells the fiance, that might be another relationship destroyed, too!!
ga-me boy
Yes, this is probably a troll.
That said, I’ll bite anyway.
I a married woman who has spent much time on the trail can say that the above is a load of crap. An adult person has control over hormones and does not need to play around. If you are in a committed relationship, then you are committed!
Hammock Hanger
I agree with Hammock Hanger… with that siad… in 2000 there was pretty infamous case of that happening. Two hikers hooked up really early in a thru hike… The husband of the female hiker would come to the trail periodically and the two lovers played like they just were friends… that year there were a few reporters hiking the trail and one wrote regularily about it… either on their online journal or in the paper. By the whites the female even had her lover house sit her house while her husband hiked with her… By Maine other thru hikers who worked with the female hated her and got her busted… some of the shelter journals in Maine reflected what was going.
ah trail gossip and romances… another aspect of thru hiking…
aswah2003
What ever happen to the phrase?
“What happens on the trail, stays on the trail!!”
“Hike your own hike!!”
You can be great friends with the opposite sex,
this does not mean that you are sleeping with them.
I had lots of male friends along the way, but did not
do the “wild thing” with them.
We all know how fast news travels on the trail and for the most part
it is correct, but sometimes people will embellish what they heard and
that can hurt someone.
People hike for different reasons, maybe they need to really need find themselves out there, and being friends or trusting the opposite sex is part of it, who knows…
You don’t know the background of all the hikers out there, nor should you.
But everyone goes out there to have fun or for personal reasons.
It’s not your business unless you personally know the person
and they are defiantly without a question hurting your friend.
Just go out and “hike your own hike” enjoy it!!!
Don’t worry about what other Hikers are doing.
“Obstacles are those frightening things, that become visible, when we take our eyes off our goals”
Just hike!!!
POOH-BEAR
POOH-BEAR
For humans of reproductive age, the sex drive is instinctive and compelling. All the conscious mind, or “will” if you like, can do is to channel the drive to some degree. It cannot be suppressed, and a period of voluntary celebacy even with masturbation for any length of time is difficult.
While a small number of individuals can engage in celebacy for an extended period, most cannot, and those who try often find the drive expressing in an undesireable manner. The recent news of priests is an example.
Thus, it is prudent for a married hiker to consider the consequences of leaving their mate for an extended period. While humans do have a conscious will, that will is usually incapable of resisting the powerful drives originating in the subconscious.
S. Freud
That is when your spouse comes for a visit!! – I had a number of very very close male friends, shared many motel rooms. The wild thing stayed still until my husband came to visit.
Hammock Hanger
I also saw hikers “hooking up” while their significant others and loved ones were left at home. I knew the details and scandals long before I met the hikers themselves. News travels at an amazing pace up the trail. The flipside is married couples and hikers in serious relationships should also think long and hard before deciding to thru hike together. I saw more long term relationships go up in flames with the stress and strain of hiking together 24/7 for 5-6 months. It was sad to see these relationships unravel.
Willow
Willow:
their relationship probably wouldn’t stand the test of time if they couldn’t make it walking in paradise with nothing to do but live in paradise… what stress is there? Honey, do you want Ramen or Mac and Cheese? Me and Daytripper started going out shortly before my 2004 hike… she was gonna come for a month then ended up doing an end to end with me… I proposed in Harper’s Ferry (well actually DC) and got married with a bunch of trail folk in Oregon the year later. Life is total bliss on the trail. The real stress comes with trying to live in Babylon after the trail… of dealing with shallow people whose greatest inspiration is to watch TV… walking in the woods…? never understood how thru hiking is stressful… From a relationship stand point you will either get along with someone or not.
oh I miss LDH…
Aswah
aswah
You’re so right, Hammock Hangar! I too shared many a motel room with some close male friends, but only so we could save some money. My husband wasn’t overly thrilled when I told him that I wanted to hike the trail, but he trusted me and let me go follow my dream. He even met up with me a few times, the most memorable being in White River Junction, VT where we celebrated our wedding anniversary! It’s a damn shame that marriages have been ruined by the trail, but if you mess around with anyone other than your spouse, there will be price to pay.
Almost There
Marriages are ruined every day by infidelity . . . even right there in the home. The trail has nothing to do with it. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. If a person’s going to cheat, he/she doesn’t have to take a 2000+ mile hike in order to do so, and if a person’s going to be faithful, he/she doesn’t have to stay at home.
Ragamuffin
My wife and I hiked in 2001 before we got married. We had to come off the trail in Harpers Ferry because she was injured. It was really hard on both of us, but a really good test of our commitment to each other and our relationship.
In 2005 we started again from Springer and went all the way to Katahdyn. We loved spending all day with each other doing the thing we both loved.
Now we are expecting our 1st baby in January. Another, new adventure!
Gravity and Danger GA-ME 2005!
Gravity man and Tuffie GA-WV 2001
Gravity
Congrats on the “new Adventure” Gravity.
My husband is my favorite hiking partner. Right now he is tied up with the job and the real world. That is why I have put my PCT hike on hold. It is something I want to share with him.
It’s funny but my husband said the same thing as Ragamuffin. A number of times people who do not understand the life of a LDH would ask about my fidelity. He would say, she doesn’t have to go hike 2000 miles to cheat. If she wanted to do that she could do it right here at home.
Hammock Hanger
Cheers and I met in GA in '04 and were married 5 months later. We now have a 1yr old miniGrace and a miniCheers in the pot. Would we have gotten together if we hadn’t been single? Probably. Would we have gotten together off trail if we hadn’t been single? Probably not. Shh, don’t tell Cheers. Right or wrong, the trail is a very powerful catalyst.
Grace