Elitism or other Favoritism on the Trail

imported
#1

I have always had a high aspect of the trail during my hikes.

I’ve always seen good people, whether it be complete strangers or business or hostel owners, go out of their way to help people out.

However, I have also seen, from a very specific set of hostel owners, ridiculous favoritism - - at least from one or two towns, and from my own personal perspective - - during a time when I needed help the
most.

I really don’t want to mention names here, but I have noticed that some hostel owners have a way of going out of their way for some people, and I mean far beyond what a normal person would even suggest, and then not even acknowledging, or at times even denying the request of another.

I realize that anyone has a choice as to how to treat another, to a point, but I also understand proper ediquette when running a business. At least, I’d prefer to understand that this ediquette is to treat everyone equally.

Unfortunately, toward the end of my hike, I ran into a number of instances that taught me differently. There were a few hostels where I knew, based on experiences from other hikers directly, some services existed that were denied to me. There were also availability issues that came up when I simply could not stay at a hostel because it was booked up for the week, then finding out, 3 hours later, that the same place was taking people in for a week…based on the fact that these new people simply wanted to stick around for a week.

I know this seems like I’m just splitting hairs, but I found myself in a particular situation this year that I honestly needed help, and whether it be that I was too proud or too modest to explain my situation, did not receive it, and could not understand why, when others received the accomodations I needed either 1 week prior, 1 day prior, or even the same day – 2 hours after, I needed this help.

Up to a certain point do I understand helping out those who have been on the trail previously, and those who have come by to prove themselves as decent people, or even as friends to the community and to hostel owners…up to a certain point.

But there comes a point to where we should all be treated equally, at least out here on the trail.

I didn’t point out specifics, because I honestly don’t want to tarnish names, and I have a feeling that others have lived through similar circumstances. However, if you feel the need to ask for more information, just ask.

I just want everyone to get the same respect from business owners (even hostels) out on the trail.

BearBait

#2

It is frustrating to be denied a service due to someone else’s conception of our appearance or manifestation of character or for any other reason. Sometimes it is the manner in which we present ourselves or the ability to communicate our circumstances. That said, it is the choice that a Hostel owner has to make based on the impressions he has received, or there may be other factors involved.

If a relationship exists with other hikers and communication has been established, then perhaps a room or a bed has been reserved in advance. Or perhaps a room is held in reserve for a long term (a weekend or a week or more) customer. After all, long term customers do bring in more money and money is what enables a Hostel owner to survive. It is the owner’s prerogative even if it is frustrating to experience rejection or a lack of acceptance.

Skylander

#3

I’m impressed with your ability to write about this without slinging mud, that’s really a class act. It’s possible some of the hostel owners might read this post, but if you want to be certain, why not write them a respectful letter expressing your disappointment? Your post is an excellent starting point. Keep the same cool tone and don’t make demands or assign blame. Remember “a gentle answer turns away wrath”… Best wishes on your future hikes.

RockyTrail

#4

We noticed this split service also. We asked why a place was giving us a bad time, for what ever reason, and it was often that some time in the past another hiker had given a poor impression; trashed the place, used the towels to clean gear etc. That little hotel in Adkins, Va, we had to beg for a room. The clerk didn’t want to give us one because last fall some guys had gotten drunk and ruined a room. We promised to leave it cleaner than when we got there. We even pulled the bedding for the maid, left a tip and the left over beer. I saw the clerk in the a.m., we checked out at eleven and the maid was already at work, we got a very heartfelt thanks form the crew. One bad erased, I hope. Some places you visit still see us as just another homeless person, no matter that you may have a +$5000 limit on you Visa Plutonium card. That may never change. We got one such a bad time at an eats in Caratunk. The service was lousy and I had to refill my own water from behind the bar. I got the “you people” line which I responded with, in the manager’s face, "Hey lady, I’m well respected in my home town and I run a multi-million dollar business. Just because I smell like death and haven’t shaved in a week doesn’t mean I’m cheap and have no class. And by the way, why did I have to refill my own water glass after waiting more than an hour for the waitress to do it, who was too busy fussing over the cotton clad people? I got and open mouthed, “Ssssorry, Sir, it won’t happen again”. Oh, there were only about a dozen people in the restaurant. Some people will leave a bad impression for others so we try to leave a good one. This was a case when some old fashioned adjustment was in order in my opinion and they got the message. I went on to tell her that not everyone that comes in here is a dirtball, we’re just homeless for six months and looks aren’t everything blah blah blah. Hikers spend a ton of money here during the summer months. She got the hint.
In general it does work if you come on sugar, you’ll get sugar. We get tons of “honeymoon suites” on trips, the best rooms and service being cute and friendly.
I still go for the clean look when out in the woods; I believe it presents a more professional appearance when visiting businesses. The Ranger at Daicy Pond almost didn’t believe that we had thru hike, we were too clean. Our reward, a site at Katahdin Stream for free!

Bushwhack & Bramble

#5

I might add that putting a please on the end will do wonders for service. You, Biff, might think you’re being polite when you say “I need a room”. However; "'Morning, do you have any hiker-rooms available? My wife and I are out hiking the Trail and your place looked great from the overpass. You’re a sales person and you have to give your best HONEST pitch. It’s all in being yourself and friendly. Hope this helps.

Bushwhack

#6

One possibility - do you, or someone with a similar trail name, have a reputation that is preceding you? A lot of hikers are very cheap and have treated hostel owners, who really do need to make enough money to live on, very badly, either by not paying for their services (or complaining bitterly about the fact that they have to pay) or by leaving a mess or having an attitude problem. Word does get out, quickly.

As others have said, sometimes it is a matter of the hiker’s “I deserve because I’m special” attitude rubbing others wrong.

Also, because there are so many repeat hikers it is quite possible that some hostel owners are happy to meet old friends again and will give them a warmer welcome than a total stranger. Not surprising.

Ginny

#7

Nice post. Nice response Bushwhack and Bramble.

Yogi is nice and cute and everyone loves to give things to him. That is why he is so successful. You have got to learn the art of being a successful Yogi.

If you stink to high heaven and have a long ungroomed beard and your clothes and hair are full of dirt and filth, then why should you expect to be treated like royality? Clothes don’t make the man or woman, but they sure do give you an impression of their status/wealth/etc. Many a bad book has been sold due to its beautiful cover or bindings.

Ask and it shall be given you. Seek and you shall find. Kind words can redirect the blade of a sword. Be gentle, be humble, be kind and ask.

We all discriminate against others based on many things, age, sex, appearance, wealth, presumed wealth, presumed status, what we’re told by the person and others, etc. Would you be a little leary of someone if they told you they just got out of prison for rape or homicide? I believe you would treat them differently than you treat others.

The hostel owners and business owners who cater to us and others are just human beings. They are providing needed services. Please cut them some slack and give them a break if their human flaws show at times.

Learn the art of Yogi. If you get good at it, the world is yours----it will be freely given to you.

See you out there. :cheers

Maintain

#8

One of the lasting, positive aspects I received from my hike was learning what it was like to be judged “not good enough” based on simple outward appearance. Before my hike, I was a VP at a Fortune 1000 company for several years, right up until I burned out, decided to take a year off and hike. I will always remember the strange feeling I had when I was denied service in a fairly modest restaurant near the trail that normally caters to hikers. It was Sunday noon and they didn’t want me to “disturb” the normal Sunday crowd. I was freshly showered, clean clothes, but my hair was probably “hiker scary”. I gave them my brightest smile and best “southern manners”. They ignored me for 30 minutes while seating other later arriving parties. Finally, when they realized I would not go away, the manager sent a waitstaff member to tell me. Actually, at the time I thought it was kinda funny, being denied service in a place I wouldn’t be caught dead in four months earlier. The “old pre-hiker” me would have probably called the manager over and told them they were denying service to someone who could buy the place 25 times over (probably an accurate statement at the time). But dressed as I was, in a strange place, scorned by strangers. I was actually embarrased and lost for words. So, I nodded my head quietly, shrugged sheepishly and left. The funny thing was the people being seated ahead of me (well dressed church crowd) seemed to be the most embarrased, because it became pretty obvious what was going on. At first, walking away, it was funny, then a bit embarrasing, then I realized it was probably the perfect object lesson for me about appearances and hopefully I will always remember that feeling.

Double Stuff

#9

What are you talking about.:slight_smile:

Stealth camper

#10

Doublestuff, I can understand your predicament there, and it has happended to me in reverse in the past. My mama taught me better than that. If I notice I’m getting seated before someone, I alwas go out of my way to motion over and point out “these folks were here before me.” Service in this country is going to the dogs. I know that a lot of people in the service industry survive on tips, but a lot of people (not all)consider tips a due, not an extra. You’ve got to educate folks everywhere you go these days, on how to be service oriented and helpfull. My wife insist on overtipping, and I think it’s because she doesn’t want to be cheap looking/acting when out in public. I don’t care. I for one will low tip, overtip or no tip in a heartbeat, based on the service and treatment. I haven’t shopped at the Belk’s department store in my city for over ten years based on poor service and false information purposely provided. The owner of the chain was written a formal letter, and no response. I don’t eat at the local Outback Steakhouse due to a snub exactly like the one described above. I complained to the manager after half an hour and was offered a free meal (the hostess was seating parties who looked more wealthy and “hip” in my opinion- as Iwas standing directly infront of her, she seated three couples behind me!) He offered to make it right and I thanked him, but told him no, I had just got promoted and was celebrating and the moment was ruined. I explained that I was planning on dropping around a hundred bucks, and that he should explain to his hostess not to make assupmtions and that I would be eating elsewhere due to her poor performance. He told me he understood and asked me again to return in the future and he would take care of me. I told him I would think about it, and ate elsewhere with my wife.

Big Dee

#11

Great replys. But remember, no one owes you anything. You didn’t get drafted to hike the AT. If you stink, are tired, hungry; you are so of your own accord. If you are trying to thumb a ride into town and getting repeatedly passed, it is of no use to curse every passing motorist. If a business owner feels it is in their best interst to not cater to your every needs, (or any needs) they do have that right. (racial issuses not withstanding) Not that its always nice for the hikers all the time, but it is their right as a business. Lie in the bed that you made.

Officer Taco

#12

This is a really good thread! I think often times, hikers shouldn’t take offense when they are mistreated. Sure it doesn’t feel good and you hope to be taken in with open loving arms after your cold and hungry and dirty and tired. But you have to realize people are running a business and often have 10 other things on their minds besides making you happy. Sure a big part of running a business is making customers satisfied, but everyone who works at a hostel, motel and restaurant are ordinary people also, who may be having a bad day.
I heard nothing but awesome things about Elmers in Hot Springs and I was dying to stay there. Got into town late one evening and asked for a room. All full. Too bad. Told me I would have a room for the next night as I was taking a zero. Went back the next morning to reserve the room and move in and he told me to come back. Came back again and I see hikers who just arrived in town that day moving into rooms. Elmers telling me, “sorry we’re all full”. This just didn’t seem fair or right at all. I was pretty pissed. He wasn’t very friendly or apologetic about it and I had really wanted to stay and relax. Eventually got to split a room with another hiker, which is kind of bending the rules. I only got this through inquiring with one of Elmers staff.
Moral of the story was that I had dinner there and still enjoyed the place. Elmer didn’t come off as the most hospitable guy, but I heard enough good things about him to cut him some slack and not slander him up and down the trail. Maybe he was having a busy morning and wasn’t having a good day. Maybe he just didn’t like me for whatever reason, who knows.

My advice is to simpply be as polite and unassuming as possible and hope for the best. As hospitable and nice as hostel owner should be, they do have the right to act as they want to, if it is their business. As others have mentioned, simply try to erase any bad sterotypes of hikers, by going the extra mile to be nice, leave the right amount of money (or more) and be thankful and curteous.

A-Train

#13

Bite The Bullet
Its like this. Some people get a vibe of others…sometimes folks just meld.

It aint favoritism, and it isnt people judging or pushing you off.

The likely hood is(And judging from this post it MAY or MAY NOT be true) that you may seem to expect certian things, and when you dont get them it bothers you. In fact, it bothers you so much that you feel the need to come here, to a place that is full of folks who have more then likely been in the same situation as you at some point in there thru-hike, and dealt with it, got through it, and finished anyway…with no bitterness, questions, or what have you.

Question this of yourself…if someone you have known for years came by your house and you invited them in, and then a hiker showed up and you also welcomed them in…maybe at no charge…would you, or would you not shower a little more attention on the person you have known, while at the same time still trying to appease the guest.

Now see, a hostel owner who sees hundreds if not thousands of hikers a year, with a large number of them assuming because they are thru hikers that they deserve better treatment then normal…then you have a person of great heart, and attitude who may come off as distant because they are so preoccupied with trying to please every person who walks through their door.

Thats tough aint it?

Let it go and remember that when you are on a hike, or a journey of any sort, and that includes everyday life…never expect anything…but know it will arrive when you need it.

I hope this incident didnt stop your hike, if so, maybe you should try it again with a better understanding of how generous and kind hearted the majority of people out here are, and remain to be, no matter how many thoughtless hikers disobey the rules, trash up and dont clean up, walk out without paying, and give other hikers a bad name…cuz I’ll tell…it happens every year.

Dont take it personal, just hike, learn, suffer, hike a little more, and feel very blessed that you are a strong enough person to realize that you have the ability to go out and see the world and other people and to learn what makes things work.

Life is grand Happy Hiking

Lion King walkingwithfreedom.com

:cheers

Lion King

#14

Bearbait

If you experienced this hostility at multiple locations I would say the issue is you not them. Either you are doing something to alienate the hosts or you are expecting too much from them.

steamboat

#15

No hiker should ever stay at a shelter, motel or hostel. I consider that to be as bad as slack-packing and yellow blazing. Real hikers are out to avoid such civilized things…the rest are there to get in the way.

slingblade

#16

Yep, I’ve seen it from both sides. A majority of thruhikers expect to much. If they didn’t at first they do as they go along. Hikers tend to take for granted the kindness that once overwhelmed them.

If you’re pissed at some hostels or hostel owners, don’t use the hostel, miss the town or don’t hike the trail near the town. As the song says, you can’t always get what you want.

Cheers

Cheers

#17

Thanks for the feedback on this.

I don’t want to put in the notion that many hostels or many instances on the trail happen in this fashion. There are many hostels, hotels, motels, and individuals that go out of their way to help anyone that comes to them, and I do not wish to make any of these people feel as if they are taken for granted.

Of course, we always will hit some people on bad days, and that is to be expected. A lot of times, also, misinformation can be given about different hostels and lodging, when it comes to word of mouth, or even printed material and advertisements.

I guess, in my personal case, that it can also be easy to nit-pick when you are going through a few things, as well.

Thanks for the help, and for allowing me to sort out these questions and details in a neutral manner.

bearbait