Post hike ideas/support

imported
#1

Hi hikers! I’m a “short distance” hiker who’s temp. grounded due to an injury. But I have friends who hiked/are hiking the A.T. The 1st had to quit real early on, due to a number of factors; (missing folks @ home; & an injury) & the latter is still @ it; planning to reach Katahdin in the next month. I haven’t seen this kind of question much… but how can I best be a good friend to both sets of folks? What do you wish that others had done for/ listened to you about/ said to you when you came back; no matter if you did the whole hike or not. The 1st seems to be feeling better now; tho was embarrassed/ sad/ angry @ 1st. The latter is exhausted but determined… I think that coming back after planning to be or actually being gone for 6 mo. must be a big adjustment… Any comments? Thank you!

Talia

#2

There’s nothing like the truth. I had intended to hike from Springer to Damascus. Only made it to Deep Creek Gap before quitting and returning home (Due to knee problem) When people asked about my aborted hike, I simply told the truth. I went back later and sectioned hiked the entire trail over a five year period, because I discovered that a mmonth at a time was about all I could handle on the Trail, before I was ready for a break.

Same thing happened to me on the PCT. Campo to Scissors Crossing and I was off the Trail. (Injured foot) Will section hike the PCT within the next 3 years. It’s the truth;; nothing more, nothing less!

Pancho

#3

Defeat is only in the mind. A loss or defeat or quitting early is simply a learning experience to be used later in life for additional achievement.

It is better to have played the game and lost than not to have played the game at all.

Sometime the victor or one who completes a task winds up the worst for it. If your battle scars are too great and your injuries lifelong, then it would have been better to have walked away from the battle to battle again another day.

People have destroyed themselves physically on the trail and will live with their permanent injuries the rest of their lives. The smart ones quit when it is necessary to do so. Also the smart ones who finish have been lucky and have taken their time and done things right.

Each must deal with what they have or have not done in their own mind and come to grips with it mentally. You as a friend can best listen and be there for them. Each of them has done what they felt was best for them at the time. Just listen, don’t try to judge, and be supportive and a good friend to each.

See you out there. :cheers

Maintain

#4

That’s great of you to be thinking about the emotional aspect of a post-hike. I can really speak better to the successful thru-hiker in their post-hike period. For me it sucked. I was depressed, missed the trail, thought everyone in America looked fat (well, most are!!), hated driving, hate traffic and the hub-bub of our busy lives. What do I wish friends had talked to me about? The trail basically. I didn’t have much interest in rejoining all the crap I’d left behind. Since you’re a hiker yourself, you won’t be asking the obvious questions of “did you see a bear? a snake?” “how could you go w/o a shower every day?” I wish I had had a friend like you who would want to connect with my hike on that level and ask me things like “how are you feeling being away from it? do you miss it or your friends?” They may need some space for a while, or they may not. Everyone is different obviously. Sometimes people would ask “what was the best part for you?” which is a really hard question to answer. Sometimes I would say the opportunity to spend that much time alone or with myself, in my own head. Or sometimes I would say to be outdoors all the time, living. The accomplishment of this endeavor is huge, for me a life long dream I never thought I’d pull off. Listen to their stories, engage in the trail culture and recognize this is a long process post-hike. It is a huge adjustment IMO. Especially if they are coming back to the same life they left, no one else will have changed much and they expect you to jump back into everything. I think for those that have new plans (grad school, or Peace Corps) the transition is easier because they’re putting themselves in a whole new situation, so whatever took them to the trail is now continuing to feed them in that new arena. I had no new arena, same job, same house, same husband. Any problems associated with any of those, were just there waiting to crop up again. Yet my reaction to them had changed. This can be confusing to the ones left at home, they’ve been waiting for you to come back but you’ve left part of yourself on the Trail.

I hope some of that makes sense. Almost two years post-hike, it’s good to write some of that down. Reading some post-hike entries from others who finished might be useful. I posted several myself to help purge the anger or depression I was experiencing.

Bluebearee

#5

Hey…I agree that it’s super cool of you to be thinking about how you can be there for your hiking buddies. I also agree that being willing to talk Trail w/ them would be one of the most helpful things. I’ve been off the AT for 3 days now and am so grateful towards the few people who have been willing to sit and listen to me wistfully explain about all the crazy things that I miss about the distance hiking lifestyle. And when I say listen, I mean really listen, truly interested in hearing about it. Being able to talk about the trail helps it to stay alive in my head and makes me feel like it’s not as distant as it kind of already feels. God, I miss being out there…Anyway you’ll have no problem as long as you are willing to be there for them which you obviously already are. Good luck!

Smack

#6

Right on Blubearee. My post hike depression seemed to get worse and worse, every time I came back from a big hike I’d feel more alienated than I did before. Depending upon what lifestyle your friend is coming back to they may experience this alienation as well. Looking back I think I was lucky, I didn’t feel it at the time but I had good friends who hiked, they listened and understood. It felt very difficult to throw myself back into the same old things I was doing before, no one cared what I had just been through and none could empathise with my trail experiences. Once I came to terms with the fact that only a select few of my friends understood I felt better. It’s good to chew over old times and laugh, trying to put the hike in perspective. I was lucky enough to meet the present Mrs.Cheers while hiking, she’s awsome and gave me something to look forward to post hike.

I’ve left everything I had four times now, just to go and hike for a few months somewhere. Returning is always tough, no matter how many times you do it.

I hope your friend realises what a good friend they have in you. With friends like that the adjustment will be more bearable.

Cheers

Cheers

#7

Bluebearee is 100% right. I hike some weekly and I live for it. I always regret coming back and having to come back. Being out there is being alive and free. The stuff of daily life really sucks, but we have to contend with it.

Hiking helps me get thru all of the daily stuff and gives me something to look forward to. That’s why I will continue to hike and hike and hike.

See you out there. :cheers

Maintain

#8

Smack – I agree, it is hard to find people who really are willing to listen to your stories and try to understand what thruhiking is all about. A good way of getting that kind of comprehension is to go to one of the hiker gatherings - the ALDHA or ALDHA-West Gatherings in October, White Blaze’s get togethers, the Rucks, etc. There are thruhiker weekends happening all over the place. If nothing else, start your own Ruck with the people in your area who want to hike and who have hiked. There you can be with folks who do understand, and can say - “Oh, you think you had it bad, just listen to my story!” It is also fun to share the wisdom you acquired with others who are hoping to go hike. Some will say thank you, some will say, you were wrong, but at least you get a chance to share with like-minded souls. Even friends and family who really care have a limited tolerance for hiking stories, while you have an unlimited number of stories to tell. That is one advantage of being married to your hiking partner - we can always say, “Do you remember …” and get an “of course, and what about . . .”

Spirit Walker

#9

do crazy sh… with them! the best part of the long distance hiking community as it grows each season is that fantastic wind in your hair freedom. that attitude that nothing is imposible, and often times the more ridiculous the proposition, the better the odds of it happening.

do a stupid road trip to, like, albany (i seriously did this). go make conversations with employees at diners, get drunk at noon monday and run wildly through the financial district of your city. renovate an old bike with wild accesories. go to an art meuseam, whatever.

thats what i would want, a friend that, like the friends i left after the trail, is down with freedom! NO TV! (except red sox world series run)

milo

#10

Red Sox? World Series?

bullet

#11

milo’s right. i think it’s good to remember that katahdin (or wherever you finish) isn’t the end; it’s the beginning. when i was back at kincora, bob peoples told me that the blazes might end, but the trail keeps going. i think that’s a good way to look at life & anyone who can swing it & who’s got friends to boot who understand can count themselves among the lucky. even if you’ve got to go back to some crappy job, it’s worth trying to wake up every day feeling like you’re making progress (ya know, miles) towards what’s important to you. it’s just that post-hike, it’s more ambiguous.
there’s no denying it, tho. it is a readjustment & a certain amount of grief is appropriate. i road tripped up to burlington, vt last week. i kept a food bag in my car complete with peanut butter & stale bagels & almost put my pack on to walk around town, thinking i might get some strangers to talk to me. but, of course, it’s not the same.

deja vu

#12

milo’s right. i think it’s good to remember that katahdin (or wherever you finish) isn’t the end; it’s the beginning. when i was back at kincora, bob peoples told me that the blazes might end, but the trail keeps going. i think that’s a good way to look at life & anyone who can swing it & who’s got friends to boot who understand can count themselves among the lucky. even if you’ve got to go back to some crappy job, it’s worth trying to wake up every day feeling like you’re making progress (ya know, miles) towards what’s important to you. it’s just that post-hike, it’s more ambiguous.
there’s no denying it, tho. it is a readjustment & a certain amount of grief is appropriate. i road tripped up to burlington, vt last week. i kept a food bag in my car complete with peanut butter & stale bagels & almost put my pack on to walk around town, thinking i might get some strangers to talk to me. but, of course, it’s not the same.

deja vu