The Hurt - Appalachian Trail

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#1

“I would give almost anything to hike north again… Like most hikers I know, we all feel the pains of Spring every year when our anniversary date nears.”
–Aswah

I don’t know why, but today it hit me hard. Real hard.

It’s not even my anniversary date today. I started on March 1st of 2004, so by now I’d…in fact I know where I was. I was a day north of the NOC. Hiking toward Fontana Dam. Three and a half miles into my day, I realized I forgot my Precip and pack cover at the shelter. After hiking a mile or so backwards, I ran into Takoma Tedd, who had grabbed them for me once realizing they were mine.

Why do I remember the exact date that happened!? fIs this healthy??

I hurt right now. Part of me wants to yell. Part of me wants to tear up. Listening to Radiohead isn’t helping.

How do you do it? I mean, how do you get THROUGH these days? Haha…I mean…I don’t even know what i mean. I want to get in my car and drive to western Mass, the closest the trail gets to me, and just lay in the middle of it…do my best to just wrap my arms AROUND it. Breathe it in.

I envy those out there right now. I envy those waiting to begin, counting down the days. I envy those who do it over, and over, and over.

I’m in a decent job now, much better than my last job experience, with a really good company. My boss loves me, and wants to mentor me. She’s convinced I can go anywhere I want to in this company. It’s nice to have a boss that believes in you like that. And I’m pretty convinced I could have a decent future WITH this company. And yet…I fear this may only delay the next time I GET OUT THERE. I don’t just mean the AT. It could be any trail. Or any long-term adventure.

Maybe i just needed to let this all out. Maybe someone has insight. Advice? Empathy? Tough Love?

Thanks for listening, anyway. Those of you out there or about to be out there, relish it. Enjoy each juicy, delicious bite.

Leki-Less

#2

I need tough love as well. My starting day was March 21st '04, the Spring Equinox, and I’m straining at the chains that hold me to my desk! There’s quite a few 04s hiking again and I’m not one of them. $#@&%$#@&%@!

The Walking Stomach, Kent, CT

#3

I feel for ya, I really do. Been there done that. Luckily I’m heading north on a new adventure in 11 1/2 days!!!:girl I’ll do a mile for each of you.

Hammock Hanger

#4

I like to drink the pain of the “real world” away :cheers Maybe not healthy, but it sure is fun!:pimp Yeeehaw!

Floweasy

#5

“My boss loves me, and wants to mentor me. She’s convinced I can go anywhere I want to in this company. It’s nice to have a boss that believes in you like that.”

The real question on everyone’s mind is, is she good looking? Will you two eventually travel together? Share a room?
:happy

Al Hirt

#6

yep, leki…i know just what you’re talkin’ about!..the cure?..mrs. gorp says, “get out there and hike!”…and that’s just what i plan to do…in the meantime, springer fever IS goin’ around…so watch out!

maw-ee

#7

Hey Leki-Less,

I don’t have any great words either but this forum alone is a good support group so you turned to the right place.

I also had read Aswah’s words last week; they resonated with me as well.

This last weekend I went over to Cannon Mt to ski, drove through North Woodstock, stopped at the store where I resupplied in 02 and just wandered the aisles picturing what I could buy to put in my pack.

On the way south yesterday on 93/3 it was important to identify where I popped out of the woods and walked up the embankment around the guardrail and started hitching.

I met a guy in a bar over there Saturday night who has done 3 section hikes of 1800 miles each, and my first thought was that Franconia Notch was exactly 1800 miles from Springer. How did I know that? I just do.

This spring I also will not be walking north, but come July I will be posted @ the entrance to Baxter SP welcoming those who have already started north with spring, and those yet to start.

Your words were telling: your boss loves you, you could go places with this company, but you never said “I love this job, I love this company”.

You know that trite phrase how you may leave the Trail, but the Trail never leaves you. It just doesn’t, accept it, work with it, mourn it, cherish it, and figure out a way to balance your life with it. We will never be content working for the Man (or the Woman).

You’re home here.

BB

Bluebearee

#8

Hey BlueBearee sounds like we all are thinking Spring = Springer.

It’s a good thing that our hikes and the trail still live within us.

Enjoy your post in Baxter and your Euro Hike.

HH:girl

Hammock Hanger

#9

Lets see, 9 years and 3 days ago I left Springer… life moves too fast off the trail. I don’t know if its because it’s March, or because we just got a bunch of snow and I thought spring was here, or that I just spend too much of my time on the computer… but I miss ‘the’ trail. It usually helps if I have a hiked planned, but I’m only going for two weeks this year, I don’t think that’s enough time to rejuvenate. I am looking forward to traildays… just need to be around hikers.

Leif

#10

I’m only a section hiker and I have the same bug. I’ve had to do something trail related (if not hiking, then compulsively reading my thru-hiker’s handbook and planning future hikes) ever since the last week of February. Living closer to the trail isn’t always a good thing though! Yesterday I took the train from Brooklyn, NY to do a day-hike around Pawling, NY & the Conneticut border - when I got there, I couldn’t hike because the bog to the left was a flood covered with a thin veneer of ice (and all the wooden boards had washed away). After getting about 1/4 mile, my feet were punching through the ice to the melt water below. But just hiking from the train station to the trail head made me feel like I did something… Is this madness?

DoubleRev

#11

Doing it over and over is the only way I know how to deal with it. But it can’t go on forever can it? What am I going to do???:frowning:

Apple Pie

#12

it’s odd, when i thru-hiked, i didn’t really care about the hiking at all and was only thinking about Katahdin. then last weekend i did a short AT hike; this time i really enjoyed the hiking itself but felt zero interest in thru-hiking again. i was really surprised.

but going to do a Springer-Neels Gap section-hike in April, which clearly will be the ultimate test. Will I just keep going? Ah, I’ve done the AT–give me something different next time.

0101

#13

I started the PCT on May 17th last year as an aspiring thru-hiker. I only made it 1000 miles, but I think about the PCT constantly. I wonder if I’d have an easier time now if I had finished it. I’m trying to cure my fever by hiking the AT this year (starting April 1st) but I so wish it was the PCT I was starting instead.

G-Smurf

#14

I started the approach trail with Cuss on March 23rd 2003. It has been a wild ride since leaving the trail five months later; bought a house, death of a parent, bad relationships, Hurricane Katrina, good and bad jobs, weight gain, a great garden, two cool dirty dogs, but the trail always lives inside of me. I can still, without error, write down each campsite or shelter we stayed in from Springer to Damascus and a few beyond. Oh how I miss it so. Someday I will go back. Is it different a second time?

-Snack Attack

Snack Attack

#15

I started the approach trail with Cuss on March 23rd 2003. It has been a wild ride since leaving the trail five months later; bought a house, death of a parent, bad relationships, Hurricane Katrina, good and bad jobs, weight gain, a great garden, two cool dirty dogs, but the trail always lives inside of me. I can still, without error, write down each campsite or shelter we stayed in from Springer to Damascus and a few beyond. Oh how I miss it so. Someday I will go back. Is it different a second time?

-Snack Attack
New Orleans, LA

Snack Attack

#16

…where are you? There’s a whole new mania to be catalogued and studied.

Actually, on a serous note, it is a very interesting phenomenon. I wonder if its similar to the way folks feel when baseball spring training starts. Is it a seasonal malady, something to do with a craving for more light or a lack of vitamin D? Ot is it some profound rejection of societies pressures, lack of freedom and disconnectedness form nature.

So, if they had a pill you could take to make it go away, would you? I’m guessing most folks wouldn’t.

Jalan

#17

Hell no I wouldn’t take a pill to make it go away. Yes, it hurts, but it hurts soo good…

Patiently awaiting my next “trail year”…

Smack

#18

It’s been a helluva long time since i started/finished the AT in 1980. Each passing year i like to reflect back on those glory days and enjoy what i’ve accomplished and know that it’s something that is almost as dear to me as anything i own. like the passing of a loved one - only time heals or cures that feeling. everybody deals with it in their own unique way, and life is nothing more than a trail itself. so the solution is… that’s for you to figure out.
but i will say this - i still have that hurt feeling each spring, and i don’t think it will ever go away…

Rippin Reils

#19

“Doing it over and over is the only way I know how to deal with it. But it can’t go on forever can it? What am I going to do???”

Relax, Apple Pie. Somewhere between your 40th and 50th birthday, the compulsive itch will die down, and you won’t have to keep doing it, over and over again.

:x

Al Hirt

#20

Around this time six years ago I received my set of AT maps in the mail. I remember how thrilling it was to open up that package and spill out those maps onto my kitchen table. I felt so alive knowing that an amazing adventure was just about to start, and honestly, I haven’t felt that alive since then. I miss the freedom and the simplicity of hiking the trail. Shopping around for a new sleeping bag is helping to cure my case of Springer Fever, but not completely. Happy Trails!

Almost There '01