What about the non-hiking partner?

imported
#1
									My partner and I have very different hiking styles. We've tested the theory (extensively). I want to complete a thru-hike, he does not. But, he is understandably not too excited about the idea of being left behind for 6 months. No kids or mortgage to worry about, so that makes life a little easier.

Any success stories out there about couples where one partner hikes, the other does not? How did the non-hiker feel at first? Did they feel better about it later? What compromises have you (as the hiker) made? Timing or length of your trip? How did you include your partner during the early stages (dreaming and planning)?

Thanks…

									_nunyet_
#2
									My initial thought, is he a non-hiker, as in he doesn't hike at all, or is he a hiker who is not interested in doing a thru-hike?

The summer of '07 I wanted to hike but my girl friend (curly fry) didn’t want me to go. Note: she hikes a lot but didn’t have the confidence for a multi-month hike. So she eventually decided she would hike two months with me bc she was graduating from college and had a job lined-up for later in the summer. That’s important bc she didn’t have to quit her job and had a secure job to come back to. That eliminates a lot of the stress in planning.

The first month of the hike she was mixed, she liked it sometimes and didn’t like it other times. She was thinking about an early exit from the trail (PCT). But the second month she came around a liked it and didn’t want to go back home. I would stress though, from my experience it’s just a matter of chance, you can never know how someone will like a long distance hike. My first thru-hike I started with my hiking partner from back home. We lasted 700 miles together and he decided to spend the rest of the summer hitch-hiking. Long distance hiking is more of a mental challenge for most people. I would be carefull about asking your partner to sacrafice a lot (job, etc)to do something he may not want to do.

If you want hiking inspiration, check out videos on youtube. There’s one called ‘the way west,’ I think, thats about the PCT.

									_banjo boy (hiker miker)_
#3
									Hi Nunyet,

I hiked last summer and my husband didn’t; he IS a hiker, but wasn’t interested in a thru-hike. While he wasn’t thrilled with me being gone for so long, he was very supportive and encouraged me…if anything, it’s made me feel much closer to him.

It may be more of a problem when the non-hiker can’t understand how driving the urge to throughhike is, and is not supportive.

									_Sandals_
#4
									I had some experience as the non-hiking partner.  My wife through-hiked the AT in '02 without me, and now I'm sorry I didn't go.  I'm going to try it this year.  Her experience was wonderful and I hope to have something similar.  I loved being her support and living vicariously through her.  I waited until she got to the Whites and joined her from Washington to Katahdin because her enthusiasm was starting to flag a little.

What was important for us was seeing each other at least every month. She would come home to Colorado for a break or I would come out to meet her and her hiking friends, be the car support for some slack-packing, work some trail magic, hike a little, etc.

I didn’t get involved in planning, but I did mail a lot of boxes. I became her journal transcriber, as well. It was really fun getting involved.

Good luck to you guys!

									_garlic_
#5
									I had a non-hiking partner who was supportive of my thru hike attempt.  Its a long story but I met a lovely female hiker who also had a non-hiking partner.  The end result was that we both shed our non-hiking partners, and we have lived and hiked happily ever after.  Not exactly a solution that I would suggest.  

									_anonymous_
#6
									You may start hiking and find that your not up to the challenge of the trail or being away from your partner for an extended period of time.  Strange things happen on the trail.

									_Darth Pacman_
#7
									I stayed home and worked and did support while my husband through-hiked this last season. He has such a driving need to push, that I didn't want to do that long a trip together. I also like to hike, so I am going this season and he is staying home to work and take care of the pets and do a little support.

The home role isn’t easy. But its tons of fun to be on the sidelines while the trip unfolds. I loved visiting him in Harper’s Ferry and New Hampshire. It was great to meet the guys he was hiking with.
I feel as if we have a relationship that really allows for diversity, and as someone else said, that makes us feel closer to one another.
Ta-ta far now, Mame

									_Aunti Mame_
#8
									I have been married over 40 years and we just do our own thing, she would not be happy hiking and to be honest dosen't want to get involed in the planning either.

Follow your dream and if you married the right person he or she will let you.

Bob:cheers

									_Rocky65_
#9
									My wife and I have been married for 35 years and have developed a trust and respect for each others likes and dislikes.

In planning for this years thru hike she has been incredibly supportive and unselfish.
Her only request is that I carry a personal tracking device so she will know where I am if she needs to get to me or if I have an emergency. The SPOT tracker has a gps guided 911 system.

She is always looking out for me

									_Boom Boom_
#10
									This really depends on your relationship with your spouse. 

If he/she isn’t going to go and is against it, I think your priorities belong at home. Think about it, it’s unfair that they have to take care of everything at home, pay bills, be lonely… while you get the freedom and excitement of having no responsibility at all. The spouse who stays at home would think it’s selfish to do this.

I would suggest to ask this question on a non-hiking forum, like a marriage forum and see what they would say. While this is a good forum, it’s biased when it comes to this question.

Anyhow, I hope it works out for you no matter what you do.

									_nrkybill_