It is important for men to remember, that as women grow older it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive and there’s nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.
My trail name is Skeemer… Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Julia.
When I took “early retirement” a year or so ago, it became necessary for Julia to get a full-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working I noticed she was beginning to show her age.
I arrive home from my afternoon at the health club about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don’t yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table.
I generally have lunch in the Men’s Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I’m ready for some home cooked grub when I hit that door…
She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now, it’s not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won’t clean themselves, even if it means I have to turn up the TV due to the rattle of the pots and pans. I know she appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
I really think my experience as a personnel rep helps a lot. I consider telling people what they ought to do one of my strong points…
And speaking of bed, her age really shows up there. I go out and exercise at the gym, come in dead tired and after a two hour nap and a good meal, I’m ready, if you know what I mean. Age has gotten her so bad that she actually dozes off during lovemaking. But that’s okay. Her satisfaction in that area is important to a sensitive guy like me and if she enjoys sleeping during our little trysts, what the hey…
Now that she has gotten older, she does seem to get tired so much more quickly. Our washer and dryer are downstairs. Sometimes she says she just can’t make another trip down those steps. I don’t make a big issue of this; as she finishes up the laundry the next evening, I’m willing to overlook it. Not only that, but unless I need something ironed to wear on Monday when I go to lunch with the guys, or to Wednesday’s or Saturday’s poker club, or to Tuesday’s or Thursday’s bowling, or something like that, I will tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing. This gives her a little more time to do some of those odds and ends like shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting…
Also, if I had been out on a day hike in the Cuyahoga Valley National Recreation Area and my trekking poles get all muddy, I let her clean them, you know…get the grit off the grips and a little light Brillo on the pole faces at a casual pace. Before she cleans up my backpack knowing it is heavy, I lift it out of the trunk for her. Women are delicate, have weak wrists and can’t lift heavy stuff as good as men. But I did tell her I don’t like to be wakened during my after hike naps, so rather than bother me, she can put them back in the trunk when she’s finished.
Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won’t have to rush so much.
I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn’t hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.
When doing simple jobs, she seem to think she needs more rest periods. She has to take a break when she is only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I’m a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for her self, she may as well make one for me too, then take her break by my hammock. That way she can talk with me until I fall asleep.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Julia. I’m not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do, how frustrating women get as they get older.
However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other…
Signed,
Skeemer
Skeemer
